Complication
by Redsinky
Summary: There is a word that describes most of everything in a human life 'Emotion'. What would happen if you were in my point of view? I'm at a point when can't feel any emotion at all and sometimes confuse myselff on what kind personality I have.Families are meant to be like paradise for children right? Tell me, what is a family? Because mine isn't close to being called a paradise.
1. Odd pair of committee members

I looked blankly at Luke; his gigantic hippo like mouth smiled broadly at the girls that surrounded him, his friends echoed his laughter all wanting to be popular like him. If you were normal or had feelings at all you would be mesmerised by his jet-black hair and deep sea green eyes, his deep voice makes any girls heart beats faster, he had a tall and royal like presence, excluding the part were his habit kicks in or he just wanted to show off his well-trained six pack abs, sets him different from the rest of the boys.

I hate how Luke can act that way, always putting a fake front in front of everyone, he must be laughing inside, hysterically, god how can anyone put up with it?. He's always pretending to laugh at jokes that aren't even funny, but the others are oblivious to it, how stupid can they get? I do it too, so I feel like I'm part of the group but my laugh is fake compared to his practised actions he's just an empty shell of no emotion. I wear a mask, to cover my real personality, which I personally do not know what kind of person I am. How can a human being not feel any kind of feeling at all like pain, love, friends and everything other normal humans have, what do they call people like me? Of course they name us weirdos or may be even gothic if they were in their right minds. I've asked and answered the same things for the past four years to myself, depressing right?

Walking on the school grounds, the sun warming my body but not my heart hovers above me, sweat trickling down my forehead. I finally arrive at a particular foot of the tree, the shade releasing cold moisture around it. Bulky, is what I call the tree because of its bulky appearance with a great shade, I talk to him all the time, tell him about my day and plus he is my only ally in the world, even if it's not human, at least it doesn't tell secrets. For a few minutes, I lay there talking to Bulky under his shade, until the person, whom I wanted not to know about my embarrassing secret, popped his head behind the tree, looking at me as if I was crazy. "You talk to a tree?" He had asked, coughing out his laughter. My face felt like it went beetroot, but he wouldn't notice since I'm usually rosy-cheeked either way. I quickly scrambled to my feet, nervously telling him not to tell my secret, but he just shrugged at me. I wanted to punch him or kick him anything physical to get him injured because how was I supposed to know if that was a yes or a no.

Our home room teacher, Miss Rane, came in and I took my seat, as she explained what we are doing for the school festival. "Okay class, as you all know the school festival is coming, and we need to vote who will be the committee members this year." Everyone in the class murmured at the excitement of this year's festival, and the teacher continued, "We also need to decide what we are going to do for the festival, I will give you this lesson to decide, and you will all start whenever our next lessons start, so use it well." At that, some girls pressured Luke to be the male committee member and he agreed naturally as I rolled my eyes at him. As Luke was one of the members, the girls fought become the female committee member, it went on for a while until the teacher decided to pick me instead, since I wasn't doing anything. The entire female population inside the classroom, not including Miss Rane, glared at me and I slid down me seat, embarrassed. When all the members were picked, it was time to decide what event will we be doing to represent our class, the most popular was a café with both maids and waiters, and the least was a haunted house. Twenty per cent of the people in the class was against both the café and haunted house, and wanted to do something different to the other classes. The two sides fought, this time the teacher was engaged in it as well whilst Luke and I waited quietly in our seats. After a while, deep inside of me I felt responsible as one of the members and decided to gamble on ideas that came into my head. I wrote all my ideas on the board consisting of: A play, concert, a fashion modelling, a chocolate cafe, voting on who's the most popular with both male and female and a cooking competition. As I wrote the last letter of my ideas, I had a feeling that everyone in my class was staring at me, I turned around nervously and saw that they were also considering my ideas. For some time, silence was kept throughout the classroom, I laid my head on my desk hiding my face, fearing for the riot that would come, but nothing came, and I fell asleep.


	2. Love accusation from a best friend

I was nudged awake, only to find Luke straight at my face, his eyes the colour of green grass, a perfectly shaped face, red lips, and white skinned. For a while, I was staring at him, half awake, until he said, "How long are you going to keep staring?" Embarrassed of what I just did, I stood up, startling Luke and knocking off my bag off my desk. I apologised to Luke and helped him up off the floor, as he settled himself to another chair next to mine; I asked "Did the class choose the café or the haunted house?" For his reply, he laughed at me, showing off his white teeth, I looked down at the floor, finding it more interesting than getting laughed at and waited quietly."Sorry Sierra, you just looked so serious when you asked that." He said, wiping off tears from his eyes, he continued, "They chose neither of them, but instead…" He pointed at the board to the idea suggestions I made during class. I was surprised to see the popularity tallies among all my suggestions, and some where really close, but the most popular ones where tied, and I looked dumbfounded of what I just saw on the board, the first time I actually suggested my own ideas and there was no break outs at all. Breaking the silence, Luke said, "You know, I didn`t know you had this side of you. I mean, you just sit in your desk so silently that sometimes our classmates don`t even take notice of you." Before I could reply he continued, smiling at me, "And to top it off, you sure made it hard for us to choose the event. You got some damn great ideas, that we had to debate which to choose, and it ended in a tie for the event, so what are you going to do about it?" I replied, without thinking "Can`t we just do both then?" "And, how are we going to do that?" "We`ll half the class for each event, and changeover every now and then, how`s that?" "Great suggestion, we`ll discuss with the class tomorrow, see how it`ll go." With that, he walked out of the classroom, leaving me in deep thought. Recalling the events of today, I started panicking at my unknown surge of confidence and how I talked to Luke normally, that I`ve never done in my life with people who aren`t in my family. Finally getting bored staying in the classroom, I grabbed my bag, and stopped before the door, I stole a glimpse at the board of the tied top events, the Concert and the fashion modelling tied first place before I paced myself to go home.

"What?" I asked bewildered by the question as I walked out the school gate. "You know what I mean." Nudging me by the shoulder. I gave him a mocked face, shaking my head like it would fall of anytime soon. "Jake, you've got it all wrong, there is nothing between us, and he's just in the same commitment thing as I am." "Right, right," He said in a cheeky manner, "There is definitely nothing going on." "Oh Jake!" I exclaimed at him, "He's the most popular guy in the area, why would there be something going on between he and I?" "Well, you never know." "And to also mention while we are at it, he is the most credited singing model out there." He finished. I scowled at him. He gave me a displeased expression, "Geez Louise, Sierra, give some boys a chance; don't create a wall to the opposite gender." He softly punched me in the shoulder in a friendly sort of way. I turned to him with a sardonic expression, "So, that means you don't consider yourself a boy?" "Sierra, I consider myself a boy no matter what type I am, okay?" He gave me a stern look in his eyes, "You are the only one out there that considers me for who I am, and if I see you being alone while the others have fun with their lives," He gave a dramatic pause. "I wouldn't bear to live by this guilt if I were to leave you alone. You know why? Because you are my most special friend that I consider more than anyone, even in my family." I gulped down an invisible bump as I swallowed Jake's words and shakily replied, "Jake, there are many lonely people out there who would be more beneficial than me." He gently placed his hands on my shoulder and turned me around to face his tight expression, "Sierra," He softly started, "That is because they don't have a special person to look out for them." And with that he ended the conversation, his sentence still ringing in my ears as he trotted ahead.

I collapsed on my bed, tired out by the events that happened too fast; firstly, my secret was found out by non-other than Luke, secondly, the teacher decided, without my consideration, that I would be the class committee member with Luke, again, for the festival, thirdly, Luke saw me sleeping and lastly, Jake said something that he would normally never say in his life! Oh god, what am I gonna do? I don't want to work with Luke, I don't want to see Jake either or he'll say something unusual again, or do any work. "Argh!" Covering my eyes. Why is everything changing? I don't want anything to change the way I am now. I laid there for some time, rolling from side to side, hands in my hair, thinking of change and what would happen if this and that would occur sometime in the future. I must've gone crazy for a minute there since I wasn't able to hear my mum calling me for dinner, until my sis banged my door, opened it and stormed into my room with an angry face, I mean, I swear I could see fumes of smoke coming out of her ears, she was that mad. I stared blankly at her, and then regretted doing it. She started yelling and throwing a tantrum in my room, saying something about not listening to her or that dad didn't give back her internet router. She started crying in frustration, throwing piles of pillows at me or anything soft and fluffy to throw, glowered at me then went crazy again, but this time she was calling me 'the favourite, a goody-to-shoes, a bloody cow' and finally, what I was waiting for from the beginning, threw down another one of my favourite dvds, snapped it in half, or if she couldn't, she would scratch them and stomp on it. She stormed out my door, my room made into a mess, smashed dvds, pillows everywhere, clothes on the floor, books thrown, cords unplugged and a missing laptop that she took away, again. This time I heard mum yell so loud I could've sworn the people on the other side of the street heard it clearly.

"Really? That happened today?" Mum asked me after a plateful of lasagne. I nodded, concentrating on my plate, afraid to provoke Izzy to throw a tantrum again in front of mum, who was already angry by dad, again. "That's wonderful!" She clapped her hand with an excited voice, "You should enjoy it, with full responsibility and don't forget that most important rule… is to have fun while you're at it." She finished, her face lighting up radiantly. Throughout dinner, we talked all about the responsibilities of the cultural committee member, coming up with ideas, that even Izzy joined in, though she said that she wasn't, only helping me cause I'm too boxed up to think of anything; we debated a lot, laughed at everything, and as time flew by, I noticed mum's facial expression change from a happy, excited face, into a tight sullen face. I could tell that she didn't want talk or laugh anymore, even Izzy went to bed and finally, dad came through the door. I hurriedly jumped onto the couch and laid there, waiting for the explosive voices that would keep me awake for hours. After what felt like forever to the countdown of an atomic battle, mum bomb shelled dad with words that weren't English, well I hope it wasn't, and dad countered with an outback English slang, that I have never even heard of . I envy those who could sleep through this on what felt like the middle of a war; they threw things at each other, pillows, hard covered books, mum smashed two vases, dad dinted metal saucepans as he banged them on the wall with incoming words and sentences that I do understand, though I try to think of something else. It's going to be a long night... "Oof." I whimpered as something landed on me, ah, dad threw the salt holder to mum but missed and landed on me instead, it hurts. Oh geez, when will this end, mum doesn't want to admit it but she's jealous that another women is spending time with her husband, dad's trying to say it isn't what it seems but mum threw a book at dad, it hit him, ouch, that's going to leave a mark in the morning, dad retaliated with a bang on another saucepan, leaving a huge dint in the middle. Finally, after long hours of fighting, after all the pawns are out of the defence area and almost ended with a stale mate, mum went with a bang, screaming some words, stormed off to my bedroom, that's right, my bedroom, dad punched the wall, making a hole and swearing every words he knows at the top of his head, stomping his way to his room. It's over! Now, I have to find a place to sleep, damn it. I decided to sleep in the spare bedroom on the ground floor, found there were no blankets or anything to feel comfy except for a mattress, explored the house for blankets and pillows, found some on the couch and went to sleep.


	3. What happened to Luke?

Rays of sunlight made me open my eyes and realise that, it wasn't the sun; rather it was the bright kitchen light turned on.

It must be dad heading off to work, I guess he doesn't want another confrontation with mum, but he'll have another war with mum when he comes home late, even if he comes home early, mum would still be furious with him for leaving early for work, might be thinking that he's going to have a morning date with Sharon.

I aimlessly walked out of the room and into a warm spring day in the kitchen, though the sun hasn't even risen yet, but it's still warm, hooray! Nope, I don't feel like hooraying, I feel all groggy and tired, my head's spinning, and I think I'm sick, bah! No, I don't think so.

I slumped on the couch, feeling too lazy to move anymore, dad spotted me, his eyes are red from crying, probably, I never seen an adult cry before especially a male. "Morning, leaving early?" I asked him  
sluggishly.

"Good morning, seems like you're the only one in this family that bothers to wake up early and talk to me." Sneaky father, he avoided the question.

"They do wake up early, but not as early as you do when the sun hasn't even risen; you don't even wait till Izzy or mum gets out, I mean you won't be late for work, no one in the family knows what you're  
doing so early in the morning." I feel like I'm nagging him after I said it, I mean, his work doesn't even start in two hours and he said that it takes two hours to get to the car park, that's all bull, I can walk to his work in less than forty-five minutes!

With a pained expression he replied in a sullen voice, "Not you too, Sierra. I told you before that it takes two hours to get there by car."  
Another lame excuse and I know it because I am the only one without a car, too young for it, and I always walk everywhere and I mean everywhere. I shrugged and prepared my breakfast.

I sighed, another boring day, another lecture and another day with Luke (yay, not). What am I going to do? I have to start preparing the play and the concert, now how am I supposed to know to do the both of them at the same time? I can't believe I said we'll do both of them at the festival, I have extra work!

No turning back gotta do what I need to do, probably force too. That's it! Punching my hand as the thought came into my head. As usual Jake came running towards me, waving his hands; I would have never thought that he would be that type of guy, such a waste of good looks. I smiled wearily at him and yawned at him.

He gave me a worried gaze, "Didn't sleep much again?" He asked me and held me up to balance.

"Yeah, just the usual routine." I answered tirelessly, swaying as I walked to the school gate. He's concerned now, his eyebrows furrowed and his hands gripped me tightly on my shoulder; there's nothing wrong with me so why is he so worried? I'm living fine, I eat well, mostly and it's just that I don't sleep much that's all, nothing to fret about.

"Sierra, do you need something from me?" He asked in worried voice, "I could get you something new that Izzy broke before, anything you want." He finished, his eyes watered as he said those words.

"I don't need your pity, Jake, I'm fine really." Shrugging him off my shoulders.  
Suddenly he stopped walking and turned to me with eyes covered in tears, I've never seen him in tears in a few years. "It's not for pity!" He shouted at me, his arm covering his face so no one can see him cry, though his voice gives it away. "Why do you always do that, you're my most precious friend!" He croaked at me falling on his knees. "I-I'm doing th-this because you are someone important to me, I just want to help you be happy and content."

I walked over to him, gently taking his arm away and wipe his tears off his face, bending down on my knees. "You're very kind Jake, and loyal too, but I don't need anything, I'm as content as can be, no need for your tears to waste away like that, but I thank you for always attempting to help me." I smiled at him, helping him up from the ground, "Now let's get this boring day ahead us, over as quickly as we came in."

Oh right, I just remembered something important, I forgot my books for the day. How stupid can I get? This day never gets better, first Jake cries for me (which he didn't need to), then I forgot my books (that barely ever happens, only once though) and now…now what?

Is it a test? An assignment meant to be due which I didn't know of, a new transfer kid I have to take care of, no… It's wasting my afternoon with that jerk, Luke. This is going to be fun. _Oh Lord, with the never ending grace of forgiveness, please forgive me as I make a contract to the devil to get Luke sick for the rest of the week, Amen._That would never happen, idiots don't get sick, or anything bad happen to them, same goes for Jake.

As I got to the classroom, everyone was silent. Not a sound came out of their mouths, only if you listened carefully you could hear their breathing, but who would do that? Me of course.

I hesitated in front of the door, and finally found courage to open it; there everyone was dead silent, their heads down, even the teachers, only a couple looked up, eyes red after crying, something must've happened when I wasn't here, something terrible.

I must have looked like an idiot, just standing still at the doorway not moving until the teacher with a pained voice told me to sit down, so I hurried as quickly as my legs could drag me.

Lessons started and it was the usual lecture, the same amount of work but the only different was that the atmosphere was solemn, even the kids who never stop making rackets just sat there, frozen to the spot. If only Jake was here…no I think there is a proper person in my class, probably the whole school that would make them back to normal… now where is Luke when you need him? I scanned the classroom, examining everyone in my class, trying to find Luke who… where does he sit again?

Right, he sits behind me; I swivelled my head to see if Luke is there, but all I saw was an empty seat, and lots of flowers and cards; why didn't I notice it before? Only a certain person can change the moods in the school and that would be, Luke. Some terrible accident must've occurred to him… but he's an idiot.

So, it's Luke that created the atmosphere and probably me who made a contract with the devil to put him out of school… so it was my fault?! Oh damn, damn, damn! My shoulders lowered from the weight of guilt built inside me, if only I knew it was true, damn it all! Let this day get over with, _'Please Lord, I have sinned against you, I wish to atone myself for ever making a contract, please just bring Luke back as quickly as possible, for the sake of the people here at school.' _ I bit my lip, and placed my head on my desk, waiting for the bell to ring, blocking out every single sound.


End file.
